Fighting to Lose - Welcome to the #Gaycuckmind

No one wants to be a cuck at first.

I mean that literally. 5 years ago from now — calling myself a cuck? A hard no. A recoil. That's not me. That's the worst thing a man can be. Though I am a gay man, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, but still a man. Which means, like you, somewhere along the way all the little boys in us absorbed the same lesson: be the best, be the first, be the one who wins! Men have difficulties to know what they are feeling. Men have difficulties to actually feel helplessness. And a cuck is, by definition, the one who doesn't win. Who is helpless. Even worse, he wants to lose. And enjoys it.

So you fight it. You tell yourself it's just a fantasy, a passing thing, something you'd never actually want. You laugh about it. You watch the porn and close the tab a little too fast afterward. You push away that strange feeling of excitement when the threesome had become a twosome.

But it keeps coming back. The pull toward the thing. Your husband with another man, a man who's maybe even better. The strange charge in stepping aside. You notice it once, explain it away. You notice it again. And at some point there are simply too many data points to keep calling it a coincidence.

That's where the real difficulty starts. Accepting that the thing you recoiled from is actually a pattern. It's you. For a man raised to win, there is almost nothing harder to admit.

And here's the part that surprised me. When you finally stop fighting, the fight doesn't disappear. All that energy you spent pushing this down has to go somewhere. So it turns around. Like cucks always turn things around. Instead of fighting to not be a cuck, you start fighting to be a better one.

Which, if you know cucks, is almost funny. We love structure anyway. Rules. Protocols. Tasks set by someone else. Give a cuck a cage with a timer and he'll thank you for it. So the next move is strange, but it's obvious: if you're going to be this — and you are — then why not get good at it? Why not train it, the way you've trained everything else you ever took seriously?

This week, that's exactly what we're doing. 😉

The man who couldn't admit it is about to start practicing it on purpose. With you.